Lately, I’ve been finding my way back into Kara Loewentheil’s teachings and coaching work as I navigate one of the most difficult chapters of my life. Grieving the loss of my sister while advocating for justice in her name has tested every part of me. At the same time, I’m juggling motherhood, showing up as a partner and friend, managing my career, and staring down the edge of 40 with a mix of reflection and resilience. In all of that heaviness, Kara’s work has felt like a lifeline—a way to reconnect with my own thoughts, find steady ground, and slowly untangle the mental load that’s been weighing me down.

If you’ve ever felt irritated—or even alienated—by advice to “just think positive,” you’re not alone. Kara gets that. Her approach to thought work is not about toxic positivity or pretending everything is okay when it’s not. It’s about truth. Clarity. Agency. And rebuilding your relationship with your own mind.

Check out the Podcast here

https://urlgeni.us/spotify/cpgNU

Why Kara Loewentheil’s Thought Work Isn’t Just Another Dose of Toxic Positivity

If you’ve ever felt annoyed by people telling you to “just stay positive,” you’re not alone—and you’re definitely not doing anything wrong. Kara Loewentheil, life coach and host of the UnFck Your Brain* podcast, gets it. Her approach to thought work is not about toxic positivity or pretending everything’s fine when it’s not.

Instead, she teaches something much more powerful: your thoughts—not your circumstances—create your emotional reality. And the good news? You can change those thoughts, one at a time.

Real Thought Work Isn’t Fake Positivity

Kara’s method goes way beyond surface-level affirmations. She doesn’t ask you to force happy thoughts or fake confidence. She teaches you how to recognize the deeply conditioned, often patriarchal thoughts that live in your brain—thoughts like “I’m not good enough,” “I have to be liked,” or “I should stay quiet to keep the peace.”

She uses tools like the Thought Ladder to help you move from painful, deeply ingrained beliefs to more empowering ones—gradually. So no, you’re not expected to go from “I hate my body” to “I’m a goddess” overnight. But you can start with “I have a body,” and work your way up. It’s not fast, but it’s real—and it works.

One Life-Changing Episode to Start With

If you’re new to her work, Episode #33: “How to Feel Better” is a game-changer. In it, Kara explains why trying to avoid or fix “negative” emotions actually makes them worse—and how to stop resisting your feelings and start working with your brain instead of against it. It’s honest, insightful, and the perfect place to start.

Your Brain Isn’t Broken—It’s Conditioned

Another foundational concept in Kara’s work is understanding the lizard brain—your primitive, fear-based brain that’s obsessed with comfort and safety. She teaches you to recognize this instinctual part of your mind without making it the boss. You learn to lead with your higher brain instead.

She also challenges the idea of “toxic people.” Kara teaches that calling someone toxic is just a thought—often a way we try to justify our emotional discomfort. But here’s the twist: you can still set strong, loving boundaries without needing to vilify someone or spin out in drama. You take control without needing control.

The Hardest (and Most Liberating) Truth

One of her most profound teachings? We only get offended by things we believe at least a little bit ourselves. If a comment hurts, it’s usually because part of your brain agrees with it—even subconsciously. That might sound harsh at first, but it’s actually incredibly freeing. Because if your thoughts are the issue, your thoughts are also the solution.

Want to Go Deeper?

If this resonates, Kara’s “The Clutch” coaching program is where she takes all of these tools and teaches you how to apply them to your real life. It’s a private coaching community where you get support, trainings, and live coaching that helps you deprogram your brain and rebuild your mindset from the ground up. It’s for smart women who are tired of feeling anxious, stuck, or not good enough—and ready to change their lives with thought work that actually works.

Kara’s work isn’t about quick fixes or ignoring reality. It’s about changing the way you think on purpose, with compassion, honesty, and a whole lot of fire. It won’t change your life overnight—but it will change everything over time.

Thanks for taking the time to read! Xoxo 💋 Lauren

Top 5 episodes to start with

1. Episode 33 – How to Feel Better

Why it’s essential: This episode breaks down why resisting negative emotions makes them worse—and how allowing yourself to feel is the real way to feel better. Total game-changer.

2. Episode 39 – The Thought Ladder

Why it’s essential: Learn Kara’s practical tool for shifting painful beliefs in small, believable steps. Perfect if affirmations feel fake or forced.

3. Episode 54 – Other People’s Opinions

Why it’s essential: Kara explains how we give away our power by obsessing over what others think—and how to stop. Especially helpful for people-pleasers.

4. Episode 44 – Boundaries

Why it’s essential: Redefines boundaries as something you do for you, not a way to control others. Super clear, empowering, and not what you learned in therapy.

5. Episode 97 – Confidence vs. Self-Confidence

Why it’s essential: Kara shows the difference between feeling confident because of evidence vs. self-confidence that doesn’t rely on proof. It’s a mindset shift that will stay with you.